The Adoption Rollercoaster

I'm sitting in the Las Vegas Airport - waiting to board a flight to Dallas (Dallas Love Field Airport) via Little rock, AK. The past 60 hours have been a whirlwind of craziness. I'm going to attempt to tell the story of the adoption that still might be.

Thursday, March 28th - 11:00 PM

Julie and I were just about to go to sleep when Julie noticed a text message that had arrived a little earlier, but had been unnoticed, from Trish (a co-worker at Cedar Ridge Family Medicine). Her sister, Robbin, owns an adoption agency in northern Utah. They had a birth mom in Texas that was delivering the next day (2:30). The adoptive parents had pulled out. The mother was bi-polar, dad in jail (for a long time). We're we interested?

Yes- we were interested. Neither of us could sleep. It was too late to speak with the social worker. I had a large Senior Expo the next day. I had to be up at 4:30 to get to the office and get things done. We were told that Lisa, the social worker was an early riser so we planned to call her at 7 the next morning. I finally fell asleep around 1:15 in the morning. Julie around 1:30.

When I got out of the shower- Julie wasn't in bed (which is definitely not normal). I found her in the kitchen, staring at the computer screen- full of flights to Texas. She couldn't sleep. She was going to need to leave at 8:00 AM to catch a flight and wouldn't arrive in Texas until 6:30 PM.

After talking to Lisa (the social worker), we talked via phone and she was heading to Texas. We learned the mom, Erika, had type 2 diabetes. Julie spoke with a lawyer, recommended by Lisa. In Texas (we learned) that you have to have two lawyers- One for the birth mother and one for the adoptive parents. So with a retainer fee of $3,000 we hired Erika's Attorney. Our attorney would only be about $1500.

So while I'm working to complete the Senior Expo, I'm getting calls from Julie as she's driving to Las Vegas and learning more about the situation. Of course everyone from the Welcome Center is very excited about the possibility. Lory was crazy excited. She kept giving me name ideas. I was having a hard time focusing on the event - despite all of this, the event turned out really good.

Just before boarding her plane in Las Vegas, Julie called me and told me we had come to our first roadblock. They couldn't find Erika (birth mother). Both the attorney and the social worker had talked with her that morning and she indicated that she was showering and getting ready for her 2:30 appointment for a C-section. The problem arose when they called the hospital and there was no one with her name scheduled for a c-section at that time.

Julie and I talked for a brief moment and she decided to go anyway. After the event was over, I called Lisa and asked her if they had any additional information. She indicated that they were still in contact with Erika, but the things she was saying didn't make sense. She said that she was in the cafeteria. It seems the main mode of communication between Erika and Lisa was text messaging. Erika wasn't giving direct answers. I hadn't heard from Julie - she was still flying.

Julie was supposed to pick up the girls at 11 AM and they were going to do some spring shopping at Kohls. I called Debbie and told her first that we had this possibility and then talked with the girls. I would pick the girls up at 3 PM. With the news that we didn't know where Erika was, it was still a possibility that I would drive the girls to Salt Lake and spend Easter with Julie's family. We were just waiting to find out what we learned from Erika.

I left Cedar late and so I picked the girls up at about 3:30. When we arrived home, I booked Julie a rental car with Advantage. Apparently there was confusion at the airport, because Julie took the shuttle to the rental car place, only to learn that she had to go back to the airport to complete paperwork and then go back to car place. She was very frustrated.

We were getting little pieces of information as the day went on. Erika was always saying, that she couldn't take the baby home with her. She knew that an adoptive mother was there. Later in the day, we learned that she was in the hospital being treated for either high blood sugar or high blood pressure. We weren't really sure what was happening. We were told at times that Julie should just fly home. We decided to have Julie just spend the night and we'd see what we learned by morning. The entire day was spent on the phone (with family), telling and retelling what new information we had received since the last time we spoke.

The girls and I had applesauce pancakes and then watched an episode of American Idol. Then we watched the movie Journey 2 (we picked up from Redbox). I watched most of the movie, but again was on the phone for large parts of the movie as I updated everyone. I was so emotionally drained by the end of the night, that we all went to bed at 9:30. I couldn't quite go to sleep yet, because I needed to put together the Easter baskets and wrap the girls Easter presents. I'll admit I just wanted to go to bed, but I got the baskets done and was a sleep before 10 PM.

The next morning we learned that Erika had the baby overnight. The social worker kept telling us that our goal was to get her to sign the paperwork on Sunday, before she took the baby home, otherwise it probably wouldn't happen. Things were looking pretty good. We were at the top of the emotional roller coaster that we climbed aboard Thursday night. Trust me - this roller coaster would probably be rated as one of the most thrilling available (it's loaded with ups and downs, twists and turns).

So with this new information, I purchased fair on the St. George Express shuttle for 5 AM Sunday morning. I booked my flight with Southwest. Julie found me the flight information because I was busy getting the house ready to have Daneene and Gary and Alicia and Lam and their families over for an Easter Egg hunt and birthday celebration for Jarom. We made the change because now the girls and I would not be here on Monday - the original plan for the family birthday celebration.

We moved forward with the bunny cake that Julie was planning to make while we were in Salt Lake. The girls showered, I barely made it in the shower before everyone arrived. I hadn't made Jarom's card yet. It was a busy morning. Julie was going to book my flight, when she learned that Erika wanted to meet her. They still didn't have a room number, and Lisa said Julie should wait until we had a room number. Our hopes were high.

Then Julie heard from Lisa that the room number she gave was "Room 2". Our suspicions were raised - we had never heard of a hospital having a "room 2". But Julie headed out to the hospital anyway. She got lost trying to find the hospital and ended up on North main instead of South Main. Once she arrived, she learned that there was no room 2. We had been thinking for a while that maybe Erika was at the hospital under an assumed name (not wanting the adoptive family to know her real name). Julie learned that this couldn't be the case. The hospital wouldn't admit anyone without a photo ID. There was no one named Erika at the hospital that just delivered a baby.

The roller coaster just took a crash downward in a huge hurry. I thought it might be best for me not to fly out and that would save us the cost of a return ticket. Julie agreed. Everyone was getting pretty frustrated. Julie was just sitting at the hospital, not knowing what to do. Erika just kept saying that she couldn't keep the baby. We learned somewhere in this process that Erika didn't want to sign the adoption papers on Easter Sunday. She kept saying that she was going to sign the papers on Monday.

It was in the mid to late afternoon that Julie called and said that she couldn't handle the back and forth. She wanted me to fly out and we would be ready on Monday to sign the papers. Julie mentioned that there was a six flags right near by. We discussed that if she wasn't there on Monday to sign the papers we would go to six flags and fly home on Tuesday. We learned at some point that Erika was wanting to name the baby - not a really good sign. But she kept saying that she was going to sign the papers on Monday.

With this information - I called Debbie and arranged to have Erik pick up the girls on Sunday as he dropped of Carrie and Ely. Jessica was going to the Young Women broadcast and I was dead tired after all our Easter celebration, so we decided to just go to "The Hub" for pizza for dinner. They were very slow and so we ate in the van while taking Jessica to the broadcast at the Stake Center. She was five minutes late. The pizza was good. I took the girls home where they finished the last episode of the Amazing race (they watched three episodes that day). I started packing.

Daneene had washed a bunch of baby clothes and burp rags, etc for us to use. I packed them up in the suitcase. Daneene also had suggested that maybe Julie and I take a couple of days vacation in Texas if it didn't work out. The girls showered and got ready to go to Daneene's house for the night (as I was leaving at 4 AM). Daneene and Gary were singing in the choir on Sunday and so the girls would be able to help watch their kids.

It was about 8 PM when I got a few texts from Julie indicating that Erika had named the baby Sonya. But that she spelled it, "Sonaya". She still insisted that she was signing the papers on Monday and right now was just enjoying the time with the baby. We also learned that the baby was eight pounds six ounces, but was on a breathing machine because she had sugar in her lungs. I asked Julie if she had ever heard of such a thing. She indicated that she hadn't.

Once again, we just didn't know what to believe. Julie had spent the afternoon doing some shopping. She bought a carseat and stroller, diapers, wipes, a couple of newborn binkies. We were getting ready and moving forward with faith. I dropped the girls off at Daneene's house and gave them a quick update. I stopped by my office to forward my phone and put a vacation responder on my email. Then it was home to finish packing and get to bed as quickly as possible.

I ended up getting to bed about 11:00 and was up at 3:12 - nothing like four hours of sleep to keep this adventure going. Julie texted me with some items to bring at 3:30 Utah time - 4:30 Texas time. She couldn't sleep. I caught my shuttle, arrived in Las Vegas about two hours before my flight. I had my two juices I brought with me and then went through security. I read my scriptures at the gate and then boarded my plane.

That is where I am now - drinking some really gross water (I should have gotten the apple juice). I have no idea what Julie is learning on the ground, but when I arrive at 2:30 it will just be so nice to be with her. I know this roller coaster is probably just beginning, so I'll stay buckled and hold on tight.